Just saying what's on my mind. No, I'm not going crazy...

I thought you and your people would be cool with me. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I'm impatient. Or is it simply me not understanding the unseen? These events may have marked an epoch in my life. I had some weird dreams on the weekend which made me scared, relieved and curious. I normally have "normal" dreams, happy ones. I'd much rather just know things without any feeling or "seeing" like usual. I like my new tattoo designs, I can't wait to get them. I wish I was a better artist. I need new glasses, on the weekend I sat down to watch some YouTube videos and the writing on the TV was blurry. The TV is only a few metres from the couch. This is worrying, I wonder if this is the cause of all the bad headaches I've been having? I think so. I wanna sleep but I can't... Yesterday I felt violent for a couple of hours, I don't know why. That was weird, this doesn't happen to me usually. Have I just been locked up for too long? What if the Corona virus becomes as bad as tge Spanish flu? I've always wanted to live in a moment in history which people will someday study, I thought it would be a better moment. I ordered groceries today becuase I really wanted some hot coffee in the morning, coffee was the only item that was out of stock. It's not a big deal but I'd like to have something warm in the mornings, I guess I'll have to do tea. It's a three day work week, this is seriously messing with my productivity but I also understand the importance of these public holidays. I wonder if I will have a family someday? I really want a family. I want a "homely" home. And I want pets, but only when I have a wife and kids. I think it would be so cool if you could have a lion as a pet. I think that this year is good despite all that's going on. This is the best year of my life. Everything is so still, I would love to be able to watch the earth and it's movements from afar while zooming in on random areas. I'm still sleepy. I feel like the days go much faster but they seem much longer. I can't sleep, maybe I should watch fight club? My beard is poking my neck. I wish I could hear what everyone was thinking right now but I'm scared about what I might hear. I'm so glad that I have lots of priviledges which many people don't have. As you get more priviledged, you change the way you think based on experiences and new knowledge. Not everyone understands this. I just stretched my arm and felt the muscle in my bicep, I like the feeling. I'm a grown man but sometimes I think I'm a kid. Maybe this is why I'm never afraod to do anything? I'm grateful for everything I have. I'm grateful for everything I've experienced. I hope my favorite coffee shop doesn't close down. I survived. I survived everything. I know you're reading this and thinking I need 2000 hours of therapy. I got grapes today, I love grapes. Oranges too! I'm so glad that shops have enough stock of healthy food. I wanna start a bio hacking side project, micro chips are so cheap and I know how to write code. I could do all sorts of cool stuff. Imagine scanning someone to get all their info. Like a database built into their body! Fuck it, I'm gonna do this. I'm a little scared to inject a chip into myself but I'll do it anyway because I really wanna know how to make this real. This will be dope. Would we even need phones and apps anymore? This could be built into our bodies. I love being smart, I wish I was smarter but it's up to me to make that happen. Bye for now...