South Africa has been locked down because of COVID-19. I'm an introvert an love being alone and being at home but since yesterday I'm kinda over it... I have so much on my mind, as usual, but I'm not sure what I want to write about so I'm just gonna write whats on my mind right now.

I wonder what she's doing, how does she stay so humble? Was my dad right about the world coming to an end? He's been telling me that the signs are there ever since I was a kid. I thought only God knew when that's happening. People on Twitter are awesome and also toxic. Why has my productivity been so low, when I don't deploy features quick I feel like I've let the whole team down. What is wrong with me? We had a date, and now lockdown is extended. Will it ever end? I told her we're gonna go to a range for her birthday, I wonder if she will handle a shotgun too? Maybe I should only get pistols, don't wanna make her scared of guns. I miss riding a bike. I sometimes miss hanging around with shady people, then I remember why I stopped. I refuse to be mediocre in this life. I wonder how my dad and his family are doing, are they obeying the lockdown rules? Sometimes I wish I still had my car, but I could never let my dad take public transport. I miss all the old ladies who I'm friends with, they are like mothers to me. At least they were when I lived in KZN. I wanna fast gain for a while. I really love her music, I love it so much. I need to release the open source wellness project I created. Will next week be more productive for me? I don't get angry and confront people like I used to. This is by choice, am I weak? I need more sleep. I'm happy. I'm peaceful. I'm hungry but I just ate so much. It's 00:54. My mom would have known what to do. I can't wait until I have a family, I will suprise my wife and children all the time. Imagine what it's like to be a dad. And what its's like to feel the love of a parent as a kid. Should I order more food thomorrow. My dad used to hit me with a cane and I was ofter swollen and blue for weeks, sometimes cut too. I forgive him but I don't think I'll ever forget that. I must not turn into an alcoholic like my grandfather. One day I will end/reduce homelessness and feed people. I'm sleepy now, a bit.