I'm sitting at the dining table with my back facing the kitchen. There's no music in the background tonight, I don't feel like listening to any. Its quiet around me and my Tinnitus sounds like a thousand crickets chirping, but slightly lower pitched.
Today was nice, I enjoyed it. I slept really well last night. The dimming of the lights in the evening definitely helps, I'm gonna try bathing every night instead of showering too. I really need to get more sleep. I've finally finished off a cool feature which I was busy with and I'm looking forward to help with QA testing a new server that we have setup next week. I've been at our company for only four month and I didn't realise that I've learnt lots and understand our domain much better than I thought I did when I interviewed in December. This is a good thing. I feel like I've been part of the company for much longer than four months, this is also a good thing. It's nice to be accepted and treated well. It's nice to work with people who are genuine and where everyone loves what they do. It's nice when everyone cares about each other's wellbeing instead of work only. I love the company that I work for and the people I work with, we have the best culture ever.
Fridays are always lower productivity days for me in terms of writing features or fixing bugs mostly because the afternoon is meetings, but that's okay because what we share in these meetings is so important and if we didn't have them I think we wouldn't be the great company that we are. After work on Friday's I don't do much, I like to just relax. Today I cooked some supper, then I was just checking out social media and watching some YouTube videos and reading tech blogs. Later I may listen to a podcast or two. It's already 11:27 PM. I feel like I haven't had a dream over the past two days, or maybe I was just too tired to remember. I hope I dream tonight, I hope it's a happy dream.
I was thinking earlier about how sometimes I want stuff that I can't have or want to be with people I can't be with. I wonder why that happens. I always used to say that 90% of the time I get what I want, and it's true. But that's because I was a very narcissistic person and I had no problem being that kind of person. Now I do, I try to be nicer. There's still a lot that I want and I can make it happen, but I wonder if it's not just best to wait. Maybe I'll eventually get what I want, and if not I'll probably get much better. I know this to be true, many of my stories are unbelievable if you haven't witnessed it. I've come from nothing, I'm lost everything and I'm not afraid of anyone or anything. Except lightning, I really don't like lightning and it scares even me. I'm rambling now... So, yeah, I think waiting for what I want may be better than rushing. While I wait I will be working on everything I need to in my personal life so I'm ready to receive all the good that's about to come, I don't believe in passively waiting for things.
This year has been good, my life is slowly improving from the way it was last year. I think that next year will be a good year for me, a really good year. Pisces important years are 3, 7, 12, 16, 21, 25, 30, 34, 43, 52, 61 and 70. I have no idea why they are important but I'll be 30 next year so I hope that I see the importance. If I had to guess I'd say that next year I'll be debt free and buy my first house, and when I'm 34 I'll have a family and many millions in my bank account. This seems impossible but often my guesses and predictions have been accurate and I know what's in store for me. Who knows what will happen though, maybe those years are "bad" important years, I hope not. Well, it's already 11:48 PM. The time always seems to go by so fast when I write these posts, and when I'm done I read them in less than five minutes.
If you read my blog often, come back sometime this weekend. I'm gonna write about some really cool in interesting topics, not about my life but about life in general. I hope you've had a good day and a good week. Stay safe, keep everything clean and sanitised and stay happy :)