It's 1:58 AM. I'm sitting on the couch and Walnut Tree by Keane is playing. I can't sleep. I don't feel exhausted like I did for the past two days, I like not being very tired.

I've been trying to order weights from Game but the add to cart button is missing, I'm not sure if they aren't allowing certain products to be purchased during the level 3 lockdown. This kinda sucks, I'm trying to get in shape and I don't have equipment. Well I did but my equipment got given away... I hate it when people give away or lend my stuff to people without my permission, but everyone who has done this isn't around anymore so I guess it's a small price to pay for knowing what someone is like. Anyway, I need new equipment again. It's been years since I had a full gym, but I'll get one again. For now all I need is a set of 20kg dumbells and an ez bar. I wish I had space for a bench too, I could put it on my balcony but I don't wanna train outside in winter.

I've been slowly adjusting my diet and speaking to people who can help me get back into shape very quickly and maintain that level of fitness. Some doctors are really cool and interesting,  same goes for creators of supplements. I love that I can speak to experts and get replies that help and are honest. I wish my scale would arrive already. I should have probably gotten a fat calliper too. I guess I'll just get it sometime soon.

I miss her. She texts like my dad, always leaves spaces before punctuation. Probably writes like that too. I also used to do that when I was in school, I can't believe that none of my teachers corrected me. I always love the weirdest things about people... Adore Adore just started playing. Yoav is one of my all time favorite artists, A Foolproof Escape Plan is my favorite album of his. I love music, I love it so much. Music is the only thing I can always count on to make me feel better. She makes great music, she's definitely one of the best and when you listen to her records you can tell that lots of hard work went into them.

If today was the last day of my life I'd be totally happy with how I lived my life. I like feeling this way. I do have regrets, I wish I didn't. Everyone expects you to look a certain way, dress a certain way, eat certain foods, etc. This is just to please them. People are often so shallow. It's good to look nice but how many people can see into someone's soul and connect with them at that level? Those are the type of connections I want. I need real people around me, always.

Today was a really good day but I don't really feel like writing much about it. I may start a category on this blog to document my fitness journey. I wonder if I should... I don't know. This journey is going to be different from others for reasons I can't say but it's going to be good and I'm going to end up being the fittest I've ever been, as long as I keep working with the right people.

I don't really have a nice quote or Bible verse to share today. No random thoughts either so I'll just say goodnight. Don't forget to pray. If you love someone, tell them. If you scared of something talk about it. If someone isn't treating you right speak up. There's so much going on in the world and our country right now, I'm trying to avoid seeing the news but it's not always possible. Just be safe wherever you are and make sure you can protect yourselves or you have people who can protect you.